Much Ado About Nothing | Act 3.4

 HERO’s apartment.

[Enter HERO, MARGARET,
and URSULA]

HERO
Good Ursula, wake my cousin Beatrice,
and desire her to rise.

URSULA      I will, lady.

HERO     And bid her come hither.

URSULA     Well.

[Exit]

MARGARET       Troth, I think your other rabato were better.

HERO      No, pray thee, good Meg, I’ll wear this.

MARGARET       By my troth, ‘s not so good; and I
warrant your cousin will say so.

HERO      My cousin’s a fool, and thou art another:
I’ll wear none but this.

MARGARET      I like the new tire within excellently,
if the hair were a thought browner; and your gown’s
a most rare fashion, i’ faith. I saw the Duchess of Milan’s
gown that they praise so.

HERO      O, that exceeds, they say.

MARGARET      By my troth, ‘s but a night-gown in respect
of yours: cloth o’ gold, and cuts, and laced with silver,
set with pearls, down sleeves, side sleeves, and skirts,
round underborne with a bluish tinsel: but for a fine,
quaint, graceful and excellent fashion, yours is worth
ten on ‘t.

HERO       God give me joy to wear it! for my heart is
exceeding heavy.

MARGARET      ‘Twill be heavier soon by the
weight of a man.

HERO      Fie upon thee! art not ashamed?

MARGARET      Of what, lady? of speaking honourably?
Is not marriage honourable in a beggar? Is not your lord
honourable without marriage? I think you would have
me say, ‘saving your reverence, a husband:’ and bad
thinking do not wrest true speaking, I’ll offend
nobody: is there any harm in ‘the heavier for a
husband’? None, I think, and it be the right husband
and the right wife; otherwise ’tis light, and not
heavy: ask my Lady Beatrice else; here she comes.

[Enter BEATRICE]

HERO      Good morrow, coz.

BEATRICE       Good morrow, sweet Hero.

HERO       Why how now? do you speak in the sick tune?

BEATRICE      I am out of all other tune, methinks.

MARGARET      Clap’s into ‘Light o’ love;’ that goes without
a burden: do you sing it, and I’ll dance it.

BEATRICE      Ye light o’ love, with your heels!

BEATRICE      ‘Tis almost five o’clock, cousin; tis time you
were ready. By my troth, I am exceeding ill: heigh-ho!

MARGARET      For a hawk, a horse, or a husband?

BEATRICE      For the letter that begins them all, H.

MARGARET       Well, and you be not turned Turk,
there’s no more sailing by the star.

BEATRICE      What means the fool, trow?

MARGARET      Nothing I; but God send every one their
heart’s desire!

HERO       These gloves the count sent me; they are an
excellent perfume.

BEATRICE       I am stuffed, cousin; I cannot smell.

MARGARET      A maid, and stuffed! there’s goodly
catching of cold.

BEATRICE       O, God help me! God help me! how long
have you professed apprehension?

MARGARET      Even since you left it. Doth not my wit
become me rarely?

BEATRICE       It is not seen enough, you should wear it
in your cap. By my troth, I am sick.

MARGARET       Get you some of this distilled Carduus
Benedictus, and lay it to your heart: it is the only thing
for a qualm.

HERO      There thou prickest her with a thistle.

BEATRICE      Benedictus! why Benedictus? you have some
moral in this Benedictus.

MARGARET      Moral! no, by my troth, I have no moral
meaning; I meant, plain holy-thistle. You may think
perchance that I think you are in love: nay, by’r lady,
I am not such a fool to think what I list, nor I list
not to think what I can, nor indeed I cannot think,
if I would think my heart out of thinking, that you
are in love or that you will be in love or that you
can be in love. Yet Benedick was such another, and
now is he become a man: he swore he would never
marry, and yet now, in despite of his heart, he eats
his meat without grudging: and how you may be
converted I know not, but methinks you look with
your eyes as other women do.

BEATRICE       What pace is this that thy tongue keeps?

MARGARET      Not a false gallop.

[Re-enter URSULA]

URSULA      Madam, withdraw: the prince, the count,
Signior Benedick, Don John, and all the gallants of
the town, are come to fetch you to church.

HERO      Help to dress me,
good coz, good Meg, good Ursula.

 

[Exeunt] Act 3.3 | Act 3.5


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Updated: April 27, 2021 — 5:05 pm