Merry Wives of Windsor | Act 3.2

3.2 A street.

[Enter MISTRESS
PAGE and ROBIN]

MISTRESS PAGE      Nay, keep your way, little gallant;
you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader.
Whether had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your
master’s heels?

ROBIN       I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man
than follow him like a dwarf.

MISTRESS PAGE      O, you are a flattering boy:
now I see you’ll be a courtier.

[Enter FORD]

FORD      Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?

MISTRESS PAGE       Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home?

FORD       Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want
of company. I think, if your husbands were dead,
you two would marry.

MISTRESS PAGE      Be sure of that,–two other husbands.

FORD      Where had you this pretty weather-cock?

MISTRESS PAGE       I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my
husband had him of. What do you call your knight’s
name, sirrah?

ROBIN       Sir John Falstaff.

FORD      Sir John Falstaff!

MISTRESS PAGE      He, he; I can never hit on’s name.
There is such a league between my good man and he!
Is your wife at home indeed?

FORD       Indeed she is.

MISTRESS PAGE      By your leave, sir: I am sick till I see her.

[Exeunt MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN]

FORD      Has Page any brains? hath he any eyes?
hath he any thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use
of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty mile,
as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve score.
He pieces out his wife’s inclination; he gives her folly
motion and advantage: and now she’s going to my wife,
and Falstaff’s boy with her. A man may hear this shower
sing in the wind. And Falstaff’s boy with her! Good plots,
they are laid; and our revolted wives share damnation
together. Well; I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck

the borrowed veil of modesty from the so seeming
Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and
wilful Actaeon; and to these violent proceedings all
my neighbours shall cry aim.

[Clock heard]

The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me
search: there I shall find Falstaff: I shall be
rather praised for this than mocked; for it is as
positive as the earth is firm that Falstaff is
there: I will go.

[Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER,

Host, SIR HUGH EVANS, DOCTOR
CAIUS, and RUGBY]

SHALLOW |
|
PAGE | Well met, Master Ford.
|
&C |

FORD      Trust me, a good knot: I have good cheer at home;
and I pray you all go with me.

SHALLOW      I must excuse myself, Master Ford.

SLENDER     And so must I, sir: we have appointed to dine
with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for

more money than I’ll speak of.

SHALLOW      We have lingered about a match between Anne
Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have
our answer.

SLENDER      I hope I have your good will, father Page.

PAGE     You have, Master Slender; I stand wholly for you:
but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether.

DOCTOR CAIUS      Ay, be-gar; and de maid is love-a me:
my nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.

Host      What say you to young Master Fenton? he capers,
he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he

speaks holiday, he smells April and May: he will
carry’t, he will carry’t; ’tis in his buttons; he
will carry’t.

PAGE      Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is
of no having: he kept company with the wild prince
and Poins; he is of too high a region; he knows too
much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes
with the finger of my substance: if he take her,
let him take her simply; the wealth I have waits on
my consent, and my consent goes not that way.

FORD      I beseech you heartily, some of you go home with me
to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have
sport; I will show you a monster. Master doctor,
you shall go; so shall you, Master Page; and you, Sir Hugh.

SHALLOW       Well, fare you well: we shall have the freer
wooing at Master Page’s.

[Exeunt SHALLOW, and SLENDER]

DOCTOR CAIUS      Go home, John Rugby; I come anon.

[Exit RUGBY]

Host Farewell, my hearts: I will to my honest knight
Falstaff, and drink canary with him.

[Exit]

FORD       [Aside] I think I shall drink in pipe wine first
with him; I’ll make him dance. Will you go, gentles?

All       Have with you to see this monster.

 

[Exeunt] Act 3.1 | Act 3.3


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Updated: April 27, 2021 — 6:14 pm