Another room in
LEONATO’S house.
LEONATO
What would you with me, honest neighbour?
DOGBERRY
Marry, sir, I would have some confidence with
you that decerns you nearly.
LEONATO Brief,
I pray you; for you see it is a busy time with me.
DOGBERRY Marry, this it is, sir.
VERGES Yes, in truth it is, sir.
LEONATO What is it, my good friends?
DOGBERRY Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the
matter: an old man, sir, and his wits are not so
blunt as, God help, I would desire they were; but,
in faith, honest as the skin between his brows.
VERGES Yes, I thank God I am as honest as any man
living that is an old man and no honester than I.
DOGBERRY Comparisons are odorous: palabras,
neighbour Verges.
LEONATO Neighbours, you are tedious.
DOGBERRY It pleases your worship to say so, but we
are the poor duke’s officers; but truly, for mine own part,
if I were as tedious as a king, I could find it in
my heart to bestow it all of your worship.
LEONATO All thy tediousness on me, ah?
DOGBERRY Yea, an ’twere a thousand pound more
than ’tis; for I hear as good exclamation on your worship
as of any man in the city; and though I be but a poor man,
I am glad to hear it.
VERGES And so am I.
LEONATO I would fain know what you have to say.
VERGES Marry, sir, our watch to-night, excepting your
worship’s presence, ha’ ta’en a couple of as arrant
knaves as any in Messina.
DOGBERRY A good old man, sir; he will be talking:
as they say, when the age is in, the wit is out: God help
us! it is a world to see. Well said, i’ faith,
neighbour Verges: well, God’s a good man; an two men
ride of a horse, one must ride behind. An honest
soul, i’ faith, sir; by my troth he is, as ever
broke bread; but God is to be worshipped; all men
are not alike; alas, good neighbour!
LEONATO Indeed, neighbour, he comes too short of you.
DOGBERRY Gifts that God gives.
LEONATO I must leave you.
DOGBERRY One word, sir: our watch, sir, have indeed
comprehended two aspicious persons, and we would
have them this morning examined before your worship.
LEONATO Take their examination yourself and bring
it me: I am now in great haste, as it may appear unto you.
DOGBERRY It shall be suffigance.
LEONATO Drink some wine ere you go: fare you well.
[Enter a Messenger]
Messenger My lord, they stay for you to give your
daughter to her husband.
LEONATO I’ll wait upon them: I am ready.
[Exeunt LEONATO and Messenger]
DOGBERRY Go, good partner, go,
get you to Francis Seacole; bid him bring his pen and
inkhorn to the gaol: we are now to examination
these men.
VERGES And we must do it wisely.
DOGBERRY We will spare for no wit, I warrant you;
here’s that shall drive some of them to a non-come:
only get the learned writer to set down our
excommunication and meet me at the gaol.