The same.
[Enter HOLOFERNES, SIR
NATHANIEL, and DULL]
HOLOFERNES Satis quod sufficit.
SIR NATHANIEL I praise God for you, sir: your reasons
at dinner have been sharp and sententious; pleasant without
scurrility, witty without affection, audacious without
impudency, learned without opinion, and strange with-
out heresy. I did converse this quondam day with
a companion of the king’s, who is intituled, nomi-
nated, or called, Don Adriano de Armado.
HOLOFERNES Novi hominem tanquam te: his humour
is lofty, his discourse peremptory, his tongue filed, his
eye ambitious, his gait majestical, and his general
behavior vain, ridiculous, and thrasonical. He is
too picked, too spruce, too affected, too odd, as it
were, too peregrinate, as I may call it.
SIR NATHANIEL A most singular and choice epithet.
[Draws out his table-book]
HOLOFERNES He draweth out the thread of his verbosity
finer Than the staple of his argument. I abhor such
fanatical phantasimes, such insociable and
point-devise companions; such rackers of
orthography, as to speak dout, fine, when he should
say doubt; det, when he should pronounce debt,–d,
e, b, t, not d, e, t: he clepeth a calf, cauf;
half, hauf; neighbour vocatur nebor; neigh
abbreviated ne. This is abhominable,–which he
would call abbominable: it insinuateth me of
insanie: anne intelligis, domine? to make frantic, lunatic.
SIR NATHANIEL Laus Deo, bene intelligo.
HOLOFERNES Bon, bon, fort bon, Priscian!
a little scratch’d, ’twill serve.
SIR NATHANIEL Videsne quis venit?
HOLOFERNES Video, et gaudeo.
[Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO,
MOTH, and COSTARD]
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO Chirrah!
[To MOTH]
HOLOFERNES Quare chirrah, not sirrah?
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO Men of peace, well encountered.
HOLOFERNES Most military sir, salutation.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO Sir, it is the king’s most sweet
pleasure and affection to congratulate the princess at her
pavilion in the posteriors of this day, which the
rude multitude call the afternoon.
HOLOFERNES The posterior of the day, most generous sir,
is liable, congruent and measurable for the afternoon:
the word is well culled, chose, sweet and apt, I do
assure you, sir, I do assure.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO Sir, the king is a noble gentleman,
and my familiar, I do assure ye, very good friend:
for what is inward between us, let it pass.
For I must tell thee, it will please his grace,
by the world, sometime to lean upon my poor
shoulder, and with his royal finger, thus, dally
with my excrement, with my mustachio; but, sweet
heart, let that pass. By the world, I recount no
fable: some certain special honours it pleaseth his
greatness to impart to Armado, a soldier, a man of
travel, that hath seen the world; but let that pass.
The very all of all is,–but, sweet heart, I do
implore secrecy,–that the king would have me
present the princess, sweet chuck, with some
delightful ostentation, or show, or pageant, or
antique, or firework. Now, understanding that the
curate and your sweet self are good at such
eruptions and sudden breaking out of mirth, as it
were, I have acquainted you withal, to the end to
crave your assistance.
MOTH [Aside to COSTARD] They have been at a great
feast of languages, and stolen the scraps.
COSTARD
O, they have lived long on the alms-basket of words.
I marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word;
HOLOFERNES
Sir, you shall present before her the Nine Worthies.
Sir, as concerning some entertainment of time, some
show in the posterior of this day, to be rendered by
our assistants, at the king’s command, and this most
gallant, illustrate, and learned gentleman, before
the princess; I say none so fit as to present the
Nine Worthies.
SIR NATHANIEL
Where will you find men worthy enough to present them?
HOLOFERNES
Joshua, yourself; myself and this gallant gentleman,
Judas Maccabaeus; this swain, because of his great
limb or joint, shall pass Pompey the Great; the
page, Hercules,–
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
Pardon, sir; error: he is not quantity enough for
that Worthy’s thumb: he is not so big as the end of his club.
HOLOFERNES
Shall I have audience? he shall present Hercules in
minority: his enter and exit shall be strangling a
snake; and I will have an apology for that purpose.
MOTH An excellent device! so, if any of the audience
hiss, you may cry ‘Well done, Hercules! now thou
crushest the snake!’
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO For the rest of the Worthies?–
HOLOFERNES I will play three myself.
MOTH Thrice-worthy gentleman!
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO Shall I tell you a thing?
HOLOFERNES We attend.
DON
ADRIANO DE ARMADO
We will have, if this fadge not, an antique.
I beseech you, follow.
HOLOFERNES Via, goodman Dull!
thou hast spoken no word all this while.
DULL Nor understood none neither, sir.
HOLOFERNES Allons! we will employ thee.
DULL I’ll make one in a dance, or so; or I will play
On the tabour to the Worthies, and let them dance the hay.
HOLOFERNES Most dull, honest Dull! To our sport, away!
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