A banqueting-room
in Timon’s house.[Hautboys playing loud music. A great
banquet served in; FLAVIUS and others
attending; then enter TIMON, ALCIBIADES,
Lords, Senators, and VENTIDIUS.
Then comes, dropping, after all, APEMANTUS,
discontentedly, like himself]
VENTIDIUS Most honour’d Timon,
It hath pleased the gods to remember my father’s age,
And call him to long peace.
He is gone happy, and has left me rich:
Then, as in grateful virtue I am bound
To your free heart, I do return those talents,
Doubled with thanks and service, from whose help
I derived liberty.
TIMON O, by no means,
Honest Ventidius; you mistake my love:
I gave it freely ever; and there’s none
Can truly say he gives, if he receives:
If our betters play at that game, we must not dare
To imitate them; faults that are rich are fair.
VENTIDIUS A noble spirit!
TIMON Nay, my lords,
[They all stand ceremoniously
looking on TIMON]
Ceremony was but devised at first
To set a gloss on faint deeds, hollow welcomes,
Recanting goodness, sorry ere ’tis shown;
But where there is true friendship, there needs none.
Pray, sit; more welcome are ye to my fortunes
Than my fortunes to me.
[They sit]
First Lord My lord, we always have confess’d it.
APEMANTUS
Ho, ho, confess’d it! hang’d it, have you not?
TIMON O, Apemantus, you are welcome.
APEMANTUS No;
You shall not make me welcome:
I come to have thee thrust me out of doors.
TIMON Fie, thou’rt a churl; ye’ve got a humour there
Does not become a man: ’tis much to blame.
They say, my lords, ‘ira furor brevis est;’ but yond
man is ever angry. Go, let him have a table by
himself, for he does neither affect company, nor is
he fit for’t, indeed.
APEMANTUS Let me stay at thine apperil, Timon:
I come to observe; I give thee warning on’t.
TIMON I take no heed of thee; thou’rt an Athenian,
therefore welcome: I myself would have no power;
prithee, let my meat make thee silent.
APEMANTUS I scorn thy meat; ‘twould choke me,
for I should ne’er flatter thee. O you gods, what a
number of men eat Timon, and he sees ’em not!
It grieves me to see so many dip their meat in one
man’s blood; and all the madness is, he cheers them
up too. I wonder men dare trust themselves with men:
Methinks they should invite them without knives;
Good for their meat, and safer for their lives.
There’s much example for’t; the fellow that sits
next him now, parts bread with him, pledges the
breath of him in a divided draught, is the readiest
man to kill him: ‘t has been proved. If I were a
huge man, I should fear to drink at meals;
Lest they should spy my windpipe’s dangerous notes:
Great men should drink with harness on their throats.
TIMON My lord,
in heart; and let the health go round.
Second Lord Let it flow this way, my good lord.
APEMANTUS Flow this way!
A brave fellow! he keeps his tides well. Those healths
will make thee and thy state look ill, Timon. Here’s that
which is too weak to be a sinner, honest water, which
ne’er left man i’ the mire: This and my food are equals;
there’s no odds: Feasts are too proud to give thanks to
the gods.
Apemantus’ grace.
Immortal gods, I crave no pelf;
I pray for no man but myself:
Grant I may never prove so fond,
To trust man on his oath or bond;
Or a harlot, for her weeping;
Or a dog, that seems a-sleeping:
Or a keeper with my freedom;
Or my friends, if I should need ’em.
Amen. So fall to’t:
Rich men sin, and I eat root.
[Eats and drinks]
Much good dich thy good heart, Apemantus!
[Enter a Second Servant]
Second Servant
May it please your honour, Lord Lucius,
Out of his free love, hath presented to you
Four milk-white horses, trapp’d in silver.
TIMON I shall accept them fairly; let the presents
Be worthily entertain’d.
[Enter a third Servant]
Third Servant Please you, my lord, that honourable
gentleman, Lord Lucullus, entreats your company
to-morrow to hunt with him, and has sent your honour
two brace of greyhounds.
TIMON I’ll hunt with him; and let them be received,
Not without fair reward.
TIMON Captain Alcibiades, your heart’s in the field now.
ALCIBIADES My heart is ever at your service, my lord.
TIMON You had rather be at a breakfast of enemies
than a dinner of friends.
ALCIBIADES So the were bleeding-new, my lord,
there’s no meat like ’em: I could wish my best friend at
such a feast.
APEMANTUS Would all those fatterers were thine enemies
then, that then thou mightst kill ’em and bid me to ’em!
First Lord Might we but have that happiness, my lord,
that you would once use our hearts, whereby we might
express some part of our zeals, we should think ourselves
for ever perfect.
TIMON O, no doubt, my good friends, but the gods
themselves have provided that I shall have much help
from you: how had you been my friends else? why
have you that charitable title from thousands, did
not you chiefly belong to my heart? I have told
more of you to myself than you can with modesty
speak in your own behalf; and thus far I confirm
you. O you gods, think I, what need we have any
friends, if we should ne’er have need of ’em? they
were the most needless creatures living, should we
ne’er have use for ’em, and would most resemble
sweet instruments hung up in cases that keep their
sounds to themselves. Why, I have often wished
myself poorer, that I might come nearer to you. We
are born to do benefits: and what better or
properer can we can our own than the riches of our
friends? O, what a precious comfort ’tis, to have
so many, like brothers, commanding one another’s
fortunes! O joy, e’en made away ere ‘t can be born!
Mine eyes cannot hold out water, methinks: to
forget their faults, I drink to you.
APEMANTUS
Thou weepest to make them drink, Timon.
Second Lord Joy had the like conception in our eyes
And at that instant like a babe sprung up.
APEMANTUS
Ho, ho! I laugh to think that babe a bastard.
Third Lord
I promise you, my lord, you moved me much.
APEMANTUS Much!
[Tucket, within]
TIMON What means that trump?
[Enter a Servant]
How now?
Servant Please you, my lord, there are certain
ladies most desirous of admittance.
TIMON Ladies! what are their wills?
Servant There comes with them a forerunner, my
lord, which bears that office, to signify their pleasures.
TIMON I pray, let them be admitted.
Music, make them welcome!
[Enter Cupid]
Cupid Hail to thee, worthy Timon, and to all
That of his bounties taste! The five best senses
Acknowledge thee their patron; and come freely
To gratulate thy plenteous bosom: th’ ear,
Taste, touch and smell, pleased from thy tale rise;
They only now come but to feast thine eyes.
[Exit Cupid]
First Lord You see, my lord,
how ample you’re beloved.
[Music. Re-enter Cupid with a mask
of Ladies as Amazons, with lutes in
their hands, dancing and playing]
APEMANTUS
Hoy-day, what a sweep of vanity comes this way!
They dance! they are mad women.
Like madness is the glory of this life.
As this pomp shows to a little oil and root.
We make ourselves fools, to disport ourselves;
And spend our flatteries, to drink those men
Upon whose age we void it up again,
With poisonous spite and envy.
Who lives that’s not depraved or depraves?
Who dies, that bears not one spurn to their graves
Of their friends’ gift?
I should fear those that dance before me now
Would one day stamp upon me: ‘t has been done;
Men shut their doors against a setting sun.
[The Lords rise from table, with much adoring
of TIMON; and to show their loves, each singles
out an Amazon, and all dance, men with women,
a lofty strain or two to the hautboys, and cease]
TIMON
You have done our pleasures much grace, fair ladies,
Set a fair fashion on our entertainment,
I am to thank you for ‘t.
First Lady My lord, you take us even at the best.
APEMANTUS ‘Faith, for the worst is filthy; and
would not hold taking, I doubt me.
[Exeunt Cupid and Ladies]
TIMON Flavius, this little casket bring me hither.
FLAVIUS Yes, my lord. More jewels yet!
There is no crossing him in ‘s humour;
[Aside]
Else I should tell him,–well, i’ faith I should,
When all’s spent, he ‘ld be cross’d then, an he could.
‘Tis pity bounty had not eyes behind,
That man might ne’er be wretched for his mind.
[Exit]
[Re-enter FLAVIUS, with the casket]
TIMON My lord, honour me so much
As to advance this jewel; accept it and wear it,
Kind my lord.
First Lord I am so far already in your gifts,–
All So are we all.
[Enter a Servant]
FLAVIUS I beseech your honour,
Vouchsafe me a word; it does concern you near.
TIMON
Near! why then, another time I’ll hear thee:
FLAVIUS [Aside] What will this come to?
He commands us to provide, and give great gifts,
And all out of an empty coffer:
Nor will he know his purse, or yield me this,
To show him what a beggar his heart is,
Being of no power to make his wishes good:
His promises fly so beyond his state
That what he speaks is all in debt; he owes
For every word: he is so kind that he now
Pays interest for ‘t; his land’s put to their books.
Well, would I were gently put out of office
Before I were forced out!
Happier is he that has no friend to feed
Than such that do e’en enemies exceed.
I bleed inwardly for my lord.
[Exit]
TIMON You do yourselves
Much wrong, you bate too much of your own merits:
Here, my lord, a trifle of our love.
Second Lord
With more than common thanks I will receive it.
Third Lord O, he’s the very soul of bounty!
TIMON And now I remember, my lord, you gave
Good words the other day of a bay courser
I rode on: it is yours, because you liked it.
Second Lord O,
I beseech you, pardon me, my lord, in that.
TIMON
You may take my word, my lord; I know, no man
Can justly praise but what he does affect:
I weigh my friend’s affection with mine own;
I’ll tell you true. I’ll call to you.
All Lords O, none so welcome.
TIMON I take all and your several visitations
So kind to heart, ’tis not enough to give;
Methinks, I could deal kingdoms to my friends,
And ne’er be weary. Alcibiades,
Thou art a soldier, therefore seldom rich;
It comes in charity to thee: for all thy living
Is ‘mongst the dead, and all the lands thou hast
Lie in a pitch’d field.
ALCIBIADES Ay, defiled land, my lord.
First Lord We are so virtuously bound–
TIMON And so
Am I to you.
Second Lord So infinitely endear’d–
TIMON All to you. Lights, more lights!
First Lord The best of happiness,
Honour and fortunes, keep with you, Lord Timon!
TIMON Ready for his friends.
[Exeunt all but APEMANTUS and TIMON]
APEMANTUS What a coil’s here!
Serving of becks and jutting-out of bums!
I doubt whether their legs be worth the sums
That are given for ’em. Friendship’s full of dregs:
Methinks, false hearts should never have sound legs,
Thus honest fools lay out their wealth on court’sies.
TIMON Now, Apemantus, if thou wert not sullen,
I would be good to thee.
APEMANTUS No, I’ll nothing: for if I should be bribed
too, there would be none left to rail upon thee, and then
thou wouldst sin the faster. Thou givest so long, Timon,
I fear me thou wilt give away thyself in paper shortly:
what need these feasts, pomps and vain-glories?
TIMON Nay, an you begin to rail on society once, I am
sworn not to give regard to you. Farewell; and come
with better music.
[Exit]
APEMANTUS So:
Thou wilt not hear me now; thou shalt not then:
I’ll lock thy heaven from thee.
O, that men’s ears should be
To counsel deaf, but not to flattery!
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