Merry Wives of Windsor | Act 4.1

 A street.

[Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS
QUICKLY, and WILLIAM PAGE]

MISTRESS PAGE
Is he at Master Ford’s already, think’st thou?

MISTRESS QUICKLY
Sure he is by this, or will be presently:  but, truly, he is very
courageous mad about his throwing into the water.
Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.

MISTRESS PAGE     I’ll be with her by and by; I’ll but bring my
young man here to school. Look, where his master comes;

’tis a playing-day, I see.

[Enter SIR HUGH EVANS]

How now, Sir Hugh! no school to-day?

SIR HUGH EVANS
No; Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.

MISTRESS QUICKLY      Blessing of his heart!

MISTRESS PAGE      Sir Hugh, my husband says my son
profits nothing in the world at his book. I pray you,
ask him some questions in his accidence.

SIR HUGH EVANS
Come hither, William; hold up your head; come.

MISTRESS PAGE      Come on, sirrah; hold up your head;
answer your master, be not afraid.

SIR HUGH EVANS      William, how many numbers is in nouns?

WILLIAM PAGE      Two.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
    Truly, I thought there had been one number more,

because they say, ”Od’s nouns.’

SIR HUGH EVANS
Peace your tattlings! What is ‘fair,’ William?

WILLIAM PAGE     Pulcher.

MISTRESS QUICKLY
Polecats! there are fairer things than polecats, sure.

SIR HUGH EVANS
    You are a very simplicity ‘oman: I pray you peace.

What is ‘lapis,’ William?

WILLIAM PAGE      A stone.

SIR HUGH EVANS      And what is ‘a stone,’ William?

WILLIAM PAGE      A pebble.

SIR HUGH EVANS      No, it is ‘lapis:’ I pray you, remember in your prain.

WILLIAM PAGE     Lapis.

SIR HUGH EVANS      That is a good William. What is he,
William, that does lend articles?

WILLIAM PAGE     Articles are borrowed of the pronoun,
and be thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc.

SIR HUGH EVANS      Nominativo, hig, hag, hog;
pray you, mark: genitivo, hujus.
Well, what is your accusative case?

WILLIAM PAGE      Accusativo, hinc.

SIR HUGH EVANS      I pray you, have your remembrance,
child, accusative, hung, hang, hog.

MISTRESS QUICKLY ‘     Hang-hog’ is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.

SIR HUGH EVANS      Leave your prabbles, ‘oman.
What is the focative case, William?

WILLIAM PAGE      O,–vocativo, O.

SIR HUGH EVANS       Remember, William; focative is caret.

MISTRESS QUICKLY      And that’s a good root.

SIR HUGH EVANS      ‘Oman, forbear.

MISTRESS PAGE      Peace!

SIR HUGH EVANS      What is your genitive case plural, William?

WILLIAM PAGE     Genitive case!

SIR HUGH EVANS      Ay.

WILLIAM PAGE      Genitive,–horum, harum, horum.

MISTRESS QUICKLY      Vengeance of Jenny’s case! fie on her!
never name her, child, if she be a whore.

SIR HUGH EVANS      For shame, ‘oman.

MISTRESS QUICKLY      You do ill to teach the child such words:
he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they’ll do

fast enough of themselves, and to call ‘horum:’ fie upon you!

SIR HUGH EVANS       ‘Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no
understandings for thy cases and the numbers of the
genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as
I would desires.

MISTRESS PAGE       Prithee, hold thy peace.

SIR HUGH EVANS
Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

WILLIAM PAGE      Forsooth, I have forgot.

SIR HUGH EVANS      It is qui, quae, quod: if you forget
your ‘quies,’ your ‘quaes,’ and your ‘quods,’ you must be

preeches. Go your ways, and play; go.

MISTRESS PAGE      He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

SIR HUGH EVANS      He is a good sprag memory.
Farewell, Mistress Page.

MISTRESS PAGE      Adieu, good Sir Hugh.

[Exit SIR HUGH EVANS]

Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.

 

[Exeunt] Act 3.5 | Act 4.2


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Updated: April 27, 2021 — 6:16 pm