Gloucestershire. SHALLOW’S house.
[Enter SHALLOW, FALSTAFF,
BARDOLPH, and Page]
SHALLOW By cock and pie, sir,
you shall not away to-night. What, Davy, I say!
FALSTAFF You must excuse me, Master Robert Shallow.
SHALLOW I will not excuse you; you shall not be
excused; excuses shall not be admitted; there is no
excuse shall serve; you shall not be excused.
Why, Davy!
[Enter DAVY]
DAVY Here, sir.
SHALLOW Davy, Davy, Davy, Davy, let me see,
Davy; let me see, Davy; let me see: yea, marry,
William cook, bid him come hither. Sir John,
you shall not be excused.
DAVY Marry, sir, thus; those precepts cannot be served:
and, again, sir, shall we sow the headland with wheat?
SHALLOW With red wheat, Davy. But for William cook:
are there no young pigeons?
DAVY Yes, sir. Here is now the smith’s note for shoeing
and plough-irons.
SHALLOW Let it be cast and paid.
Sir John, you shall not be excused.
DAVY Now, sir, a new link to the bucket must need be had:
and, sir, do you mean to stop any of William’s wages,
about the sack he lost the other day at Hinckley fair?
SHALLOW A’ shall answer it. Some pigeons, Davy,
a couple of short-legged hens, a joint of mutton,
and any pretty little tiny kickshaws, tell William cook.
DAVY Doth the man of war stay all night, sir?
SHALLOW Yea, Davy. I will use him well: a friend i’ the
court is better than a penny in purse. Use his men well,
Davy; for they are arrant knaves, and will backbite.
DAVY No worse than they are backbitten, sir;
for they have marvellous foul linen.
SHALLOW Well conceited, Davy:
about thy business, Davy.
[Exit DAVY]
Where are you, Sir John? Come, come, come, off
with your boots. Give me your hand, Master Bardolph.
BARDOLPH I am glad to see your worship.
SHALLOW I thank thee with all my heart, kind
Master Bardolph: and welcome, my tall fellow.
[To the Page]
Come, Sir John.
FALSTAFF I’ll follow you, good Master Robert Shallow.
[Exit SHALLOW]
Bardolph, look to our horses.
[Exeunt BARDOLPH and Page]
If I were sawed into quantities, I should make four
dozen of such bearded hermits’ staves as Master
Shallow. It is a wonderful thing to see the
semblable coherence of his men’s spirits and his:
they, by observing of him, do bear themselves like
foolish justices; he, by conversing with them, is
turned into a justice-like serving-man: It is certain
that either wise bearing or ignorant carriage is
caught, as men take diseases, one of another:
therefore let men take heed of their company. I
will devise matter enough out of this Shallow to
keep Prince Harry in continual laughter…
O, you shall see him
laugh till his face be like a wet cloak ill laid up!
SHALLOW [Within] Sir John!
FALSTAFF I come, Master Shallow;
I come, Master Shallow.
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