The highway, near Gadshill.
[Enter PRINCE HENRY and POINS]
POINS Come, shelter, shelter: I have removed
Falstaff’s horse, and he frets like a gummed velvet.
PRINCE HENRY Stand close.
[Enter FALSTAFF]
FALSTAFF Poins! Poins, and be hanged! Poins!
PRINCE HENRY Peace, ye fat-kidneyed rascal!
what a brawling dost thou keep!
FALSTAFF Where’s Poins, Hal?
PRINCE HENRY He is walked up to the top of the hill:
I’ll go seek him.
FALSTAFF I am accursed to rob in that thief’s company:
the rascal hath removed my horse, and tied him I know
not where. If I travel but four foot by the squier
further afoot, I shall break my wind.
Poins! Hal! a plague upon you both! Bardolph! Peto!
I’ll starve ere I’ll rob a foot further. Eight yards of uneven
ground is threescore and ten miles afoot with me;
and the stony-hearted villains know it well enough:
a plague upon it when thieves cannot be true one to another!
[They whistle]
Whew! A plague upon you all! Give me my horse, you
rogues; give me my horse, and be hanged!
PRINCE HENRY Peace, ye fat-guts! lie down;
lay thine ear close to the ground and list if thou
canst hear the tread of travellers.
FALSTAFF
Have you any levers to lift me up again, being down?
‘Sblood, I’ll not bear mine own flesh so far afoot
again for all the coin in thy father’s exchequer.
What a plague mean ye to colt me thus?
PRINCE HENRY Thou liest; thou art not colted,
thou art uncolted.
FALSTAFF I prithee, good Prince Hal,
help me to my horse, good king’s son.
PRINCE HENRY Out, ye rogue! shall I be your ostler?
FALSTAFF Go, hang thyself in thine own heir-apparent
garters! If I be ta’en, I’ll peach for this. An I
have not ballads made on you all and sung to filthy
tunes, let a cup of sack be my poison.
[Enter GADSHILL, BARDOLPH and PETO]
GADSHILL Stand!
FALSTAFF So I do, against my will..
POINS O, ’tis our setter: I know his voice.
Bardolph, what news?
BARDOLPH Case ye, case ye; on with your vizards:
there ‘s money of the king’s coming down the hill;
’tis going to the king’s exchequer.
FALSTAFF You lie, ye rogue; ’tis going
to the king’s tavern.
GADSHILL There’s enough to make us all.
FALSTAFF To be hanged.
PRINCE HENRY Sirs, you four shall front
them in the narrow lane;
Ned Poins and I will walk lower: if they ‘scape
from your encounter, then they light on us.
PETO How many be there of them?
GADSHILL Some eight or ten.
FALSTAFF ‘Zounds, will they not rob us?
PRINCE HENRY What, a coward, Sir John Paunch?
FALSTAFF Indeed, I am not John of Gaunt,
your grandfather; but yet no coward, Hal.
PRINCE HENRY Well, we leave that to the proof.
POINS Sirrah Jack, thy horse stands behind the hedge:
when thou needest him, there thou shalt find him.
FALSTAFF Now cannot I strike him,
if I should be hanged.
PRINCE HENRY Ned, where are our disguises?
POINS Here, hard by: stand close.
[Exeunt PRINCE HENRY and POINS]
FALSTAFF Now, my masters,
happy man be his dole, say I:
every man to his business.
[Enter the Travellers]
Thieves Stand!
FALSTAFF Strike; down with them; cut the villains’
throats: ah! whoreson caterpillars! bacon-fed knaves!
they hate us youth: down with them: fleece them.
[Here they rob them and bind them]
Come, my masters, let us share, and then to horse
before day. An the Prince and Poins be not two
arrant cowards, there’s no equity stirring: there’s
no more valour in that Poins than in a wild-duck.
PRINCE HENRY Your money!
POINS Villains!
[As they are sharing, the Prince and Poins set upon
them; they all run away; and Falstaff, after a blow
or two, runs away too, leaving the booty behind them]
PRINCE HENRY Got with much ease.
Falstaff sweats to death,
And lards the lean earth as he walks along:
Were ‘t not for laughing, I should pity him.
POINS How the rogue roar’d!
Playlist Henry IV Part One | Dramatis Personea | Plays & Info