Superstar Zombies: Scene Three

Elvis Presley and John Lennon are
at the golf course playing golf

PRESLEY: Lennon, you dont have a talent for
playing golf, I can see that – boy. Let me show
you how it is done. First, keep you’re eye on the
price, that hole over there. Focus on it like a dog
would do
for it’s bone. Then, concentration boy.
It’s all about concentration, for your body to get ready.
And when you feel it’s ready from top to toes, then hit it!
With full confidence! The stick will do the

LENNON: If I really wanted to hit it to win, you would have
found out already. But you are right: golf is not my game,
hate it actually, only here for some fresh air, playing golf
with you. I will let you, the King win – brother

PRESLEY: Still wanna be bigger than Elvis, Look, people
still see me as the king for a reason, you’re just a working
class hero who somehow got a career in music shouting
yeah yeah yeah

LENNON: You’re just being too polite now. You actually
mean saying “punk from Liverpool”. Don’t push it too far
Elfishy. I can do that too talking you down. Used to be great
at it also

PRESLEY: Yeah, we aint best of friends I know, never were.
Hey, you probably knew long time ago already, but I was the
one who told the CIA to throw you out of my country,
way back then. Did you know that?

LENNON: Ofcourse I knew, mister Disgrace Land. I felt
so sorry for you doing your Las Vegas shows getting fat and
making a fool of yourself, so I kept quiet ’bout it. Out of respect
But must say, I can’t deny you were my hero in the begining only

PRESLEY: Thanks Lennon – Sir – you’re a true english
gentlemen. I paved the way for you guys, don’t you forget it.
O well, let’s not trouble our minds about it too much.
No UFO sighting this night?

LENNON: No, unfortunately. But I can sense they’re
close. Last week, you saw them yourself you said.

PRESLEY: Defenitely UFO’s. If one day I’m not around
anymore, just remember, they probably picked me up
for a ride. The King is first always. After that perhaps,
who knows, YOU, the Walrus.. Strange actually, I don’t
really see you as a walrus. You’re missing it’s teeth. You
got any suggestion what I should call you? For a
nickname? I love nicknames

LENNON: Yeah, me too. Not this time though with you.
Somehow I’m the one still showing some respect. After all
you’ve done to us to bring us down to kick us out of your
country. When all 4 of us will be here united could be we
might come after you for our revenge.

PRESLEY: Sure, no problem. But keep in mind – Sir –
I am the one with the guns. Don’t mind shooting some
red coats again

LENNON: Give peace a chance, brother.

PRESLEY: That’s fuckin’ hippy stuff, Lennon
– and you know that

LENNON: Whatever, Elfishy. Hey, you wanna continue
your golf? I think I’ve changed my mind: wanna give
YOU a lesson now

PRESLEY: Oh boy, I better watch out then. But no sir,
I’m done here now. Look, seems like rain also. We better
get back before it starts

LENNON: My kind of weather, feels like home. But can
understand you southern dandies don’t wanna get wet.

They start walking away from the golf course

PRESLEY: Bigger than Elvis, what the heck were
you thinking?

LENNON: To the top of the toppermost top…

ELVIS: “To the top of the toppermost top”. Sounds like some
stupid british red coat general leading his troops to a disaster.
That’s not the way english should be spoken – SIR!.

LENNON: You better make haste if you don’t wanna get wet,
Elfishy, rain has started. I’ll hide over there under those trees.
Feels like sitting in an english garden again, with this rain

Lennon hides away from the rain, Presley walks off stage.