The same.
[Enter the PRINCESS, and her train,
a Forester, BOYET, ROSALINE,
MARIA, and KATHARINE]
PRINCESS Was that the king,
that spurred his horse so hard
Against the steep uprising of the hill?
BOYET I know not; but I think it was not he.
PRINCESS Whoe’er a’ was, a’ show’d a mounting mind.
Well, lords, to-day we shall have our dispatch:
On Saturday we will return to France.
Then, forester, my friend, where is the bush
That we must stand and play the murderer in?
Forester Hereby, upon the edge of yonder coppice;
A stand where you may make the fairest shoot.
PRINCESS But come, the bow: now mercy goes to kill,
The poor deer’s blood, that my heart means no ill.
BOYET Here comes a member of the commonwealth.
[Enter COSTARD]
COSTARD God dig-you-den all!
Pray you, which is the head lady?
PRINCESS Thou shalt know her, fellow,
by the rest that have no heads.
COSTARD Which is the greatest lady, the highest?
PRINCESS The thickest and the tallest.
COSTARD The thickest and the tallest! it is so; truth is truth.
An your waist, mistress, were as slender as my wit,
One o’ these maids’ girdles for your waist should be fit.
Are not you the chief woman? you are the thickest here.
PRINCESS What’s your will, sir? what’s your will?
COSTARD
I have a letter from Monsieur Biron to one Lady Rosaline.
PRINCESS
O, thy letter, thy letter! he’s a good friend of mine:
Stand aside, good bearer. Boyet, you can carve;
Break up this capon.
BOYET I am bound to serve.
This letter is mistook, it importeth none here;
It is writ to Jaquenetta.
PRINCESS We will read it, I swear.
Break the neck of the wax, and every one give ear.
[Reads]
BOYET ‘By heaven, that thou art fair, is most infallible;
true, that thou art beauteous; truth itself, that
thou art lovely. More fairer than fair, beautiful
than beauteous, truer than truth itself, have
commiseration on thy heroical vassal! The
magnanimous and most illustrate king Cophetua set
eye upon the pernicious and indubitate beggar
Zenelophon; and he it was that might rightly say,
Veni, vidi, vici; which to annothanize in the
vulgar,–O base and obscure vulgar!–videlicet, He
came, saw, and overcame: he came, one; saw two;
overcame, three. Who came? the king: why did he
come? to see: why did he see? to overcome: to
whom came he? to the beggar: what saw he? the
beggar: who overcame he? the beggar. The
conclusion is victory: on whose side? the king’s.
The captive is enriched: on whose side? the
beggar’s. The catastrophe is a nuptial: on whose
side? the king’s: no, on both in one, or one in
both. I am the king; for so stands the comparison:
thou the beggar; for so witnesseth thy lowliness.
What shalt thou exchange for rags? robes;
for tittles? titles; for thyself? me. Thus,
expecting thy reply, I profane my lips on thy foot,
my eyes on thy picture. and my heart on thy every
part. Thine, in the dearest design of industry,
DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO.’
PRINCESS
What plume of feathers is he that indited this letter?
What vane? what weathercock? did you ever hear better?
BOYET I am much deceived but I remember the style.
PRINCESS
Else your memory is bad, going o’er it erewhile.
BOYET
This Armado is a Spaniard, that keeps here in court;
A phantasime, a Monarcho, and one that makes sport
To the prince and his bookmates.
PRINCESS Thou fellow, a word:
Who gave thee this letter?
COSTARD I told you; my lord.
PRINCESS To whom shouldst thou give it?
COSTARD From my lord to my lady.
PRINCESS From which lord to which lady?
COSTARD From my lord Biron, a good master of mine,
To a lady of France that he call’d Rosaline.
PRINCESS
Thou hast mistaken his letter. Come, lords, away.
[To ROSALINE]
Here, sweet, put up this: ’twill be thine another day.
[Exeunt PRINCESS and train]
BOYET Who is the suitor? who is the suitor?
ROSALINE Shall I teach you to know?
BOYET Ay, my continent of beauty.
ROSALINE Why, she that bears the bow.
Finely put off!
BOYET My lady goes to kill horns; but, if thou marry,
Hang me by the neck, if horns that year miscarry.
Finely put on!
ROSALINE Well, then, I am the shooter.
BOYET And who is your deer?
ROSALINE
If we choose by the horns, yourself come not near.
Finely put on, indeed!
MARIA You still wrangle with her, Boyet,
and she strikes at the brow.
BOYET But she herself is hit lower: have I hit her now?
ROSALINE Shall I come upon thee with an old saying,
that was a man when King Pepin of France was a little boy,
as touching the hit it?
BOYET So I may answer thee with one as old, that was a
woman when Queen Guinover of Britain was a little
wench, as touching the hit it.
ROSALINE Thou canst not hit it, hit it, hit it,
Thou canst not hit it, my good man.
BOYET An I cannot, cannot, cannot,
An I cannot, another can.
[Exeunt ROSALINE and KATHARINE]
COSTARD O’ my troth, most sweet jests! most incony
vulgar wit! When it comes so smoothly off,
So obscenely, as it were, so fit.
[Exit COSTARD, running]
Act 3.1 | Act 4.2
Playlist Love’s labour Lost | Dramatis Personea | Plays & Info